Contemplation . . . HNT?

Thoughts go racing through my mind . . .
one followed by another,
and another,
and another,
and another,
and another . . .
until my head is so full of random snippets of thought I fear it might burst at the seams . . . if a head had seams that is . . .
instead . . .
more thoughts push to the front from deep within . . .
starting the process over again . . .
Thoughts go racing through my mind . . .
one followed by another,
and another . . .


Not nakkid in the traditional sense...but my soul and nerves feel completely bare...

a confounding conundrum

I wrote the post below,and only posted it briefly before taking it down again...
So much has transpired since then...

I spoke to my boss about the future of the design department in our office...the future is bleak if things are to continue the way they are going...I also told him of the generous offer I had been given, and asked him for his thought on the situation. This is the good part of working for a small company, your boss can also be your friend. he told me that I could definitely handle the position offered, which was good to hear...and he thanked me for being honest with him...I am also pretty sure he knows that my time with the company is limited independent of me taking this offer...

That's right...I have decided I need to leave my current job one way or another. I still have not decided if I am going to take the new position as offered, but I know I can't stay at this one. It has completely stifled my creativity, and my drive to do good work...three years of doing the same thing day after day, over and over will do that.

I have also spoken to a good friend who used to work in our office about the opportunities within Calgary. She loves her current job, and explained to me what the differences she has experienced are...she works for a larger company, with an actual design department...allowing her to learn from others who have been in the field longer...something I am missing not only at my current job, but would also not be available were I to take the new one offered...she said there are boundless opportunities (ug, how many times can I use that word in one post!) for a junior designer within Calgary, even within her company...something I knew already, just wasn't prepared to take on quite yet

So, the plan as it sits right now...get my resume out there; apply to as may places in Calgary as I can, and see if I get a response...I will be on a time limit how ever, as I still have the generous offer to face. If I have not found a place in Calgary that I think could supply me with a challenge and a mentor, then I will take the job with Mr.J's dad as of March 1st.

Wish me luck!

When crisi-tunity knocks...

I have been offered a job with a great company...without even putting in an application...with a 45% increase in earnings a year...

So, why am I thinking of not taking it, you may be asking?

Because it would mean moving away from everything I know and love in Calgary, to a "city" that I dislike filled with retired farmes and young breeders...becasue it is a job that I am not really qualified for and I am not confident that I will do a good job at it, or that I am worth that much $...because it will mean working with my "in-laws" in a family business environment...because it will mean being in the same city as my mom and dad who have recently split...because I don't know anyone there anymore, and I have a nice group of friends here that I will see far less often...because it is a step back from the goal of where I want to be professionally...

Then, why am I still considering it despite all of these reasons?

Becasue taking the job will allow me to live under the same roof as Mr J for the first time in 2 years...and we will be able to afford a house...with a yard...and maybe a puppy...because the rent on my crumby apartment in Calgary will be raised by 25% as of May 1st...because the money is very tempting and that sort of wage is worth a lot more in a small city than it is in Calgary...because I could afford to travel instead of traveling despite the lack of funds and incuring more debt...because I hate my current job, and it's time for a change...

I've done a pro/con list...I've talked it through with Mr. J...and I tried this...I still don't know...
HARUMPH!!!

deep freeze

I would rather be back here...

than here....

loss

the blogosphere feels the loss of another blogger this week.

Last month WDKY reported of an accident taking Anu's life...

Today, Osbasso tells of betchcantguesswho, taken from the world too soon in another auto accident.

my heavy heart

August 16, 1973 - December 30, 2006

Absentee HNT

nothing from me this week as I am going through a bit of a family crisis...I'm not ready to talk about it, but it's got my brain in a bit of a scramble...
Happy HNT to the rest of you, I will try to make my rounds some time this week!

it's in the lyrics...a game of sorts

Stolen from a my brother.

Step 1: Put your media player of choice on random. (mine will be windows media player)
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing. (I'll give you the first 2 for some of them)
Step 3: Bold out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Google is cheating!
April 1, 2007 - no more guesses? ok...here are the rest of the answers

1. In order to place whatever's been done, you'll tell by the moon and the tide that has come.
   Sit There - The Black Seeds
   
2. I'll wait for you till I turn blue, There's nothin' more a man can do.
   Salty Dog - Flogging Molly
   
3. Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste
   Sympathy for the Devil - Rolling Stones (identified by JMK)
4. Tell me one more time again, justy like I didn't hear you
   Bulletproof - Blue Rodeo
5. Who took the bomb? Every day and night, Every day and night
   I can see your disco disco dick is sucking my heart out of my mind
   (these are lyrics found online...this could be what she is saying...)
   Deceptacon - Le Tigre
6. When they start falling, executions will commence. Sides will not matter now, matter makes no sense.
   Argument - Fugazi
   
7. I went away across the island. Climbed on up - on top the mountain
   Bundle - The Gandharvas
   
8. I want to live, I want to give. I've been a minor for...
   Heart of Gold - Neil Young (identified by Osbasso)
9. A heart of stone, a smoking gun. I can give you life, I can take it away.
   Banquet - Block Party
   
10. She said you'd given up, Your folks told me you should be left alone, On a mountain top knocking the aeroplanes down with stones.
    Do the Whirlwind - Architecture in Helsinki
    
11. I picked you out, of the crowd and talked to you. Said I liked your shoes, you said Thanks, can I follow you?
    Lover I Don't Have to Love - Bight Eyes (identified by Bella)
12. I let the beast in too soon, I don't know how to live without my hand on his throat, I fight him always and still...
    Fast As I Can - Fiona Apple (identified by Jenn)
    
13. Today's gonna be the day that they're gonna give it back to you. By now you should have some how realized what you gotta do... (this is going to be tricky...it is a cover song, and this artist is not the only one to cover it...the song is easy, the artist not so much)
    Wonderwall - Ryan Adams (originally by Oasis...I also have a cover by Cat Power)
    
14. I saw it written and I saw it say...
    Pink Moon - Nick Drake (identified by Lolita!)
15. Everything is bleak, it's the middle of the night. You're all alone and the dummies might be right...
    Music @ Work - The Tragically Hip
    
16. Here, have a dollar. Na, in fact brother, man, here have two. Two dollars means a snack to me, but it means a big deal for you...
    Mr. Wendel - Arrested Development (identified by Busted Toy Head - a.k.a. Mr J.)
17. You give me that look that's like laughing, like liquid in you mouth. Like you're choosing between chocking and spitting it all out.
    Falling is Like This - Ani Difranco (identified by Rainypete)
18. Eye on the TV, 'cause tragedy thrills me. Whatever flavour, It happens to be like;
    Vicarious - Tool
    
19. Drink up baby doll, are you in or are you out.
    Let Go - Frou Frou (identified by 212designs - she put Static Lullaby as the artist...perhaps a cover I don't know about?)
20. I'm feeling mighty lonesome, haven't slept a wink.
    Black Coffee - Ray Charles (the version I have is Ella Fitzgerald)(identified by 212designs)
21. The silicone chip inside her head gets switched to overload
    I Don't Like Mondays - The Boomtown Rats (identified by chrish)
    
22. I want to hold the hand inside you. I want to take a breath thats true
    Fade Into You - Mazzy Star (identified by The Lily)
23. Glad you made it, welcome to the farm
    Airport Song - Guster (identified by 212designs)
24. your flirt finds me out, teases the crack in me, smittens me with hope
25. Show me, Show me, Show me, how you do that trick
    Just Like Heaven - The Cure (Identified by JMK)
26. I am a workin' man, but I ain't worked for a while
    All Hell For A Basement - Big Sugar
    
27. Papa, he left home today, and said he ain't comin' back again
    Mama's got a Girlfriend - Ben Harper
    
28. oh so all my lovin' goes, under the fog fog fog
    Y Control - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
    
29. I keep my head up tight, I know my plans at night
    Shine a Light - Wolf Parade
    
30. I should have known that this would happen from the start
    It's a Hit - We Are Scientists